As we wrap up Day 4 of the Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience, one of the main concepts we learn is that of “Change Me – Change You”.

What that means is that rather than asking, demanding or expecting the other person to change, we understand that because we are in a relationship with someone, if we want the other to change, we must change first.

To demonstrate this, I move from one end of the room to the other. Because the participants and I are in a relationship, they shift in their seast to be able to see and hear me. It’s then that I explain that because I have changed, and we’re in a relationship together, so too have they.

If I had remained at the front of the room and instructed them to turn and shift in their seats and look towards the back of the room, they may or may not heed my instructions. And yet, when I change positions, so do they.

If you want to change your relationship or the way another interacts with you, you must first change yourself. Change Me – Change You.

On a similar note, I came across a quote which expands this concept to what’s going on around us.

“You can’t change what’s going on around you, UNTIL you start changing what’s going on within you.” (Source unknown.)

We create our world, whether we are conscious of it or not. When we understand this and take responsibility for what is happening in our world, we can choose to change it.

If you’re experiencing people or situations that are not to your liking or that are challenging, take a deep breath and be open to looking to find your contribution to the situation.

How are you showing up?

What are you thinking?

What is your belief around the situation?

What benefit are you getting from the situation?

All behaviour is motivated by a benefit that we receive, even being a victim has payoffs.

If you want to change what’s going on around you, start changing what’s going on within you.

Change me – change you.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The week between Christmas and New Year is traditionally a time that many businesses close.

When I worked in the tutoring franchise, it was company policy to shut down for a few weeks from the week before Christmas to the week after new year, (whether we liked it or not).

Kip’s philosophy was that “we work for the clients and since our clients are school teachers running tutoring centres, school holidays are the only times we can go on leave”.

Not having kids of our own, Ross and I would have preferred to have saved our holidays and enjoyed time off out of school holidays, however it was not to be whilst I worked there.

Still, the point of today’s Weekly Thought is that whether it’s this time of year or any other time throughout the year, you need to have some down time. You need to take time for a rest.

Your health depends on it. Your mental health; your physical health; your spiritual health and your emotional health. Not to mention the health of your family, friends and work colleagues.

Even Weight Watchers encourages people on their program to make sure they get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Lack of sleep can interfere with your weight.

Today I ran over time on a meeting. I simply got lost in the conversation and didn’t realise that we had gone 30 minutes past finishing time. What concerned me more was that I knew the person I met with wouldn’t log off when we finished. We’ll call her Julia.

“Julia, please promise me you will log off now and go and enjoy dinner with your family”, I suggested.

“I’ll just check in with Rose and see if she needs anything, then I’ll log off”, she replied.

“Send me a text message when you log off please”, I asked, in order to encourage her to log off sooner than I thought she would as well as to act as an accountability buddy.

One and half hours later, I had not received the SMS.

As any good accountability buddy would do, I sent Julia an SMS. “Time for a Rest.”

Julia’s reply – “Logging out now.”

It’s very important to rest. As Kip told me when I first started with him, “We don’t pay overtime. What I want you to do is to work efficiently during your work hours and then go home and enjoy your time with your husband; rest and come back tomorrow refreshed and ready for another productive day.”

Kip was right. We do need to rest.

I know you work hard when you need to. I also want you to rest when you can and take advantage of when things are a bit slower, like the holiday season so that you can rest, relax and refresh.

Taking time for a rest is the smart thing to do. It will ensure you don’t burn out and will also assist you to be able to creatively solve problems because you will be in what David Bayer calls the “Powerful State”.

On the eve of the new year, I wish you all the best for a very happy new year. May 2022 be the year you decide to work productively AND make time to rest.

P.S. Today is the last day to save $1,000 with the Early Bird Bonus for our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience. There are limited places left. For more information check out https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/. Experience starts Thursday 10^th February.

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

From John Lennon’s song,

“So this is Christmas and what have you done?

Another year over, a new one just begun.”

What a year we’ve all had.

For this 600^th weekly thought, I simply want to wish you and yours a very happy and healthy and safe Christmas.

My heart goes out to those who are ill and those who are isolating over the Christmas period. I’ve got the healing fairies on high alert and ready to fly wherever needed.

There have been many challenges this year which have also brought many insights and appreciation for the simple things like being able to hang out with your family; being able to hug someone and shake hands; being able to travel and eat out; being able to work and being able to learn.

As we head into a couple of weeks of rest and relaxation, I encourage you to take a few moments to reflect on the year that’s been and as challenging as it has been, note the things that you are grateful for and the things that you would have previously taken for granted.

I’m grateful for you, showing up every week to read my thoughts.

I’m grateful for my work and my clients. I love both dearly.

I’m grateful for Ross, my lifetime adventure partner and biggest supporter.

I’m grateful for my friends and for my family.

I’m grateful for my health.

I’m grateful for the bountiful food we enjoy and the water we have on tap.

I’m grateful for my car and for having easily sold Contessa.

How about you, what are you grateful for?

What have you done this year?

So this is Christmas….. Another Year Over

Wishing you the best of everything.

Can’t help myself – remember Life is always working for you, even if at times, it’s not to your preference.

Happy Holidays!

P.S. Only a week to register if you want to save $1,000 on our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience. There are limited places left. For more information check out https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/. Experience starts Thursday 10^th February and Early Bird Discount ends 31^st December.

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.