Trust Them To Do The Job (WT631)

Trust Them To Do The Job (WT631)

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by Shirley Dalton | 29 Jul, 2022 | Blog, Leadership

WT 631 Trust them to do the job

In over 40 years of working, I’ve never met anyone who said they like to be micromanaged.

What is micromanaging?

For me, micromanaging is not trusting your people to do the work.

It’s being critical instead of grateful.

Micromanagers blame others when things go wrong and they don’t take responsibility. “Why did you do that, when I told you to do this?”

Micromanagers are also passive aggressive. “If I’m not around, what are you going to do – nothing?”

Micromanagers confuse their people. “Why didn’t you let me check before you sent that out?” “Why don’t you think for yourself?”

Micromanagers cause their people to go into the primal state, causing them to feel anxious and fearful.

When you’re in the primal state, your only thoughts and bodily actions are those of survival.  If we want people to be creative and solve problems, we need to encourage them. We need them in the powerful state.

You have to trust your team to do the job.

That includes making sure you give good instructions and training. Empower your team to step up. Encourage them to succeed. Praise them when they do.

Normally a conscientious employee, I learned to become helpless and to submit inferior work when one of my bosses asked me to draft letters and marketing material on his behalf.  After drafting a couple, which I had poured my heart and soul into getting right, he took out the red pen and made comments all over them.  I learned that I was never going to make him happy. I learned that he would always “improve” what I had done, so I started to care less. I would quickly write something on paper, without giving it too much thought because I knew he would edit it anyway. It didn’t make me feel very good because I am an achiever. With that boss, I never felt like I could achieve.

If you’re a leader, manager, supervisor or colleague. Empower your team. Trust them to do the job. The more you trust them, the more they’ll give you. The more they give you, the more they’ll feel like they are achieving and in the powerful state. They’ll come up with even more solutions and ideas and they’ll love you and be loyal.

Nobody likes a micromanager. Trust your people to do the job.

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Don’t Get Bullied Into It (WT630)

Don’t Get Bullied Into It (WT630)

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by Shirley Dalton | 22 Jul, 2022 | Blog, Customer Service

WT 630 Don't Get Bullied Into It

Bullies don’t just exist in the schoolyard.

Bullies exist in the workplace.

Bullies exist in sales.

Don’t get bullied into it.

Ross called a number of tradespeople this week to get quotes for some work we need to do to the house before we move in.

One “lady” he spoke to was like a piranha.

She had told Ross it would be at least 12 weeks before we could expect to have the kitchen renovated.

“That’s no good to me”, said Ross. “I need it done before we can move in.”

“Well, let’s just book you in for one of our representatives to come and see your place and give you a quote”, she insisted.

Ross relented.

The representative attended the house.

He’d been to the same “bully the customer” school as the lady who booked it in.

“We could do this and we could do that”, said the representative.

“I don’t want that”, said Ross.

“Yes, you do”, said the representative. “Lots of our customers prefer it this way.”

“I don’t want that”, repeated Ross.

The conversation went on like this for 90 minutes.

At the end, Ross asked, “When can we expect to have the kitchen done?”

“We’re booked out until October (12 weeks away)”, replied the representative.

“That’s no good to me”, said Ross. “I told the lady on the phone that, as well, when she booked this in.”

“Well, let’s just make an appointment for you and your wife to come and have a look and go through the quote next week”, ignored the representative.

“Is your wife free on Tuesday afternoon?”

“I don’t know what my wife has on for Tuesday afternoon”, replied Ross.

“Well, how about Wednesday or Thursday”, the representative persisted.

Finally, Ross gave in and booked in a time for BOTH OF US to attend.

When Ross shared this information with me, I was NOT IMPRESSED.

“I’m not waiting until October”, I said to Ross. “And from what you’ve told me, he was a bully. He kept telling you what others had and what you want. I’m not interested in meeting with them.”

“Yes, you’re right. They’ve bullied their way through”, said Ross.

“Ring them up and cancel the appointment”, I directed. “Don’t get bullied into it.”

You don’t have to accept being bullied.

You don’t have to accept being told what you want and don’t want by someone who isn’t listening to you or who has ulterior motives for wanting you to go one way or the other.

It’s okay to stand up for yourself. You don’t have to be aggressive. You can simply say “No”.

You don’t have to get bullied into anything you don’t want to do.

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Who Are You Recruiting? (WT629)

Who Are You Recruiting? (WT629)

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by Shirley Dalton | 15 Jul, 2022 | Blog, Business

WT 629 Who are you hiring

I’m constantly amazed at how weeks seem to have themes.

This week’s theme is around recruitment.

Because I know my clients and their businesses and their people really well, I’m often asked to profile potential candidates and interview them.

I don’t analyse the candidates’ skills or experience; my clients do that.

What I do is test for a cultural fit with the company and the people they’ll be working with directly, as well as get an insight into who the candidate is.

I use a number of profiling tools, however one in particular provides insights into the candidates’ level of responsibility and accountability and truthfulness to name a few.

It also measures how important it is for the candidate to be seen in a favourable light.

We know that interview alone is the least reliable form of recruitment. Often the job goes to the person who interviews the best and who may not be the best candidate for the job.

The one who interviews the best is usually the one who figures out what the interviewer wants to hear and gives that answer. 

One value or trait that I think is very important in a candidate is their degree of “responsibility”.

Here’s a question I use to test for responsibility.

“Please tell me, in detail, about a time when you failed to achieve an outcome. What happened?”

I’m not really interested in the subject they talk about, rather who they assign responsibility to for the outcome.

For example, they may say, “I failed 3 subjects at university”.

It’s the “because” that I’m interested in.

“Because I partied too much and didn’t do enough study” or “the lecturers were hopeless; they weren’t prepared and didn’t give good instructions”.

Which answer do you want?

Which answer would you give?

Obviously the ones who own up and say they partied too much are the ones we want. Why? Because they are taking responsibility for what happened.

We also know that the best indicator of future performance or behaviour is past behaviour – so there’s a very good chance that if they owned up and took responsibility for the outcome, they’re very likely to own up and take responsibility in their work.

I don’t know about you; I don’t want someone who lives below the line and gets into B.E.D. with Blame, Excuses and Denials.  Mistakes happen. I’d rather be working with the person who owns up to what’s happened, rather than hiding it, lying about it or throwing someone else under the bus and blaming others or circumstances.

Who are you recruiting?

Remember, people get hired for their skills and experience and fired for their attitude.

I’d rather know a bit more about who they because skills can always be taught.

Who are you recruiting?

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It’s Not Happening To You (WT628)

It’s Not Happening To You (WT628)

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by Shirley Dalton | 8 Jul, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 628 It's not happening to you

It’s 4:12am in the morning.

I got up especially early to attend an online training.

There was no email with the login details.

I checked last night and I double checked this morning.

That’s odd. They always send an email reminder.

I logged in to the training portal to get the link.

The training date is tomorrow.

Damn! I got up early just for this and it’s not on until tomorrow; that means I have to get up early again tomorrow.

Did they change the date?

I was sure I had it right.

I almost let myself go into the Primal state of psychological suffering.

I almost started to blame.

I almost started to get angry.

And I remembered, “Life is always working for us”, (even though at times it may not be to our preference).

Life happens for us, not to us.

So I changed my mindset.

How is this working for me?

It gave me the time to watch the training that I missed last week (because I slept in and forgot about it) and get caught up before tomorrow’s scheduled training.

It also gave me the topic for this week’s thought and it gave me the opportunity to remind you that Life is always working for us. Life happens for us, not to us.

We can change our mindset in a nanosecond. We can stop the suffering.

It’s a decision you make as to how you deal with the things that happen in your life.

Choose to see that it’s not happening to you. Life is happening for you.

P.S.  Click on the link to purchase your copy of The Loyal Lieutenant book and get access to many templates and checklists. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

You Can Convince Yourself (WT627)

You Can Convince Yourself (WT627)

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by Shirley Dalton | 1 Jul, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 627 You can convince yourself

This week we exchanged contracts on a house.

We’d been looking for a while and were initially looking for something to renovate as well as develop in a few years.

We hadn’t found anything that met our initial criteria, so we decided to change the criteria.

Within a few weeks, we found a number of properties which met the new criteria.

One property was a fully renovated property although the rooms were small.

Another property had an extra bedroom and bathroom and a better outlook, however it needed a complete renovation.

We were serious about purchasing the first property which was going to auction. Whilst the rooms were small we convinced ourselves it suited us. After all it was fully renovated and there was nothing to do but move in.

When we found the second property, we started to convince ourselves that the first property wasn’t suitable. “The rooms are small. The renovations cover up a lot things and we don’t know what’s under the renovations. The building inspection said there was rising damp in the rooms downstairs and on and on we went.”

Similarly with the second property, we convinced ourselves in favour of the renovations. “We can do what we want with the property. We have a clean slate to work with. The outlook is amazing, we can see the water. It’s on the high side of the street which is what we want.”

Or we could convince ourselves not to buy it. “The driveway is really steep. There’s a lot of work to do and it’s going to cost a lot of money. Trades are hard to get and building prices have gone up so much.”

Here’s my point – You can convince yourself of anything.  We look for the evidence to support what we are thinking.

Michael Singer describes this beautifully in his book, “The Untethered Soul”. He demonstrates how we argue with ourselves (not others) and we convince ourselves for and against decisions we need to make, judgements about people, you name it. We convince ourselves.

Here’s your activity for this week. Take notice of how often you argue with yourself. Take notice of the debates you have when making a decision or passing judgement on a colleague, customer or family member.

In reality nothing external is changing. It’s all in our heads. We waste precious time and energy arguing with ourselves and convincing ourselves only to change our minds again and again.

Let me know what you find. See if you can convince me too.

P.S.  Click on the link to purchase your copy of The Loyal Lieutenant book and a special bonus to access many templates and checklists. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Tell Me What You Don’t Want (WT626)

Tell Me What You Don’t Want (WT626)

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by Shirley Dalton | 24 Jun, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 626 Tell me what you don't want

If I asked you what you want, could you tell me?

Could you tell me in great detail or would you be vague?

Would you say something like, “I don’t really know”?

Or would you start to tell me what you don’t want?

This is very common. Most people cannot say exactly what they want however most can say what they don’t want. It makes it hard for people to give you want you want or help you get what you want, if:

  1. You don’t really know, or
  2. You can’t articulate it clearly.

So here’s a little exercise you can do, for yourself and/or with others:

  1. Take out a piece of paper or ipad or something to write on.
  2. Have a pen or texta or electronic writing thingame…
  3. Turn your page to landscape.
  4. Draw 3 columns.
  5. In the first column heading write the words “Don’t Want”.
  6. In the second/middle column, write the words “Why not?”
  7. Go to the first column.
  8. List all the things you don’t want, e.g. I don’t want to start work at 6:30am.
  9. Go to the second column.
  10. List the reasons “why not”, e.g. I want to do yoga, meditation, tapping, journaling etc. before I go to work.
  11. Now for the third column heading, write the words “Do Want”.
  12. Look at your list in column 2 and use that to help you get clear about what you do want, e.g. I want to start work at 10:30am so I can get up each morning and do my yoga, meditation, tapping and journaling.

Using the above example, without this exercise, you may have had difficulty saying you want to start work at 10:30am because:

  1. You might feel judged by others for saying so
  2. You might know you want to start at that time and yet not have been clear on exactly why
  3. You just may not have known that the later starting time was important to you, until you discovered the reasons for what you don’t want.

Give it a go.

Tell me what you don’t want and see if that helps you discover what you do want.

Remember, that’s my mission in life – to inspire, educate and support you to be, do, have and feel what you want.

P.S.  Early Bird Discount, (saving up to $1500) for our August Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience ends on 30th June. More info here:https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

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