Are You Right or Righteous? (WT417)

Are You Right or Righteous? (WT417)

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by Shirley Dalton | 22 Jun, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 417 Are you right or righteous

Wow, what a difference a week and a few days can make.

Last week I was on a high, celebrating 8 years of thoughts. 

This week was low as I succumbed to being a victim and was planning on a thought to remind us all to be our word; to apologise when we make mistakes and to consider other people. 

And yesterday that thought changed from being right to righteous as I checked my diary and to my horror realised I had done the exact same thing I was moaning about from others. 

I completely missed an appointment. 

Not just any appointment. It was a Weekly Thoughts coaching gift appointment. (My biggest apologies to Anthony!) 

So this week we take a look at the difference between being right or righteous. 

My Google search on the meaning of “righteous” helped me be able to explain it to you this way. “Righteousness stresses guiltlessness or blamelessness and often suggests the sanctimonious (making a show of being morally superior to other people)” (from Dictionary and Merriam Webster). 

Ouch! 

In my mind I was blameless and morally superior. One of my coaches missed an appointment with me, not once but twice. I would have been ok with it, except that each time I had gotten up especially at 4:30am for the appointment. On the second occasion, the assistant did send me a cancellation notice, however with the time differences (they are on the East Coast of America – 10 hours ahead of me), the message arrived in my inbox at 1:00am. And the worst part for me, there was no apology; no recognition of the inconvenience for me. In my mind I was right and justified. 

The message in that regard is clear. Consider your audience and communicate in a timely way and let people know what’s going on. Apologise when you are in the wrong. Accept that you made a mistake and own it.   

And then when I did the exact same thing, the universe slapped me in the face. OMG! And there it was – I wasn’t being right, I was being righteous, morally justified and without blame. 

How about you? 

Are you right or righteous? 

If you’re right, go ahead and assert yourself and stand up for yourself, however if you think you’re right and without blame and insist on judging others whom you consider to be guilty, you might want to remember this saying I learned as a child, “He who is without sin, cast the first stone”.

Are you right or righteous?

The Universe Likes Speed (WT416)

The Universe Likes Speed (WT416)

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by Shirley Dalton | 15 Jun, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 416 The Universe likes speed

Woo Hoo! 8 Years!

Today we celebrate 8 years of Weekly Thoughts. 

OMG! No-one is more surprised than me to reach this milestone.

And even more impressive for me is that I haven’t missed one week in all that time.

Wow, that’s commitment for you.

And these thoughts are for you.

I actually enjoy writing them and sharing what I learn along the way.

This week is no exception. Of course there is a message or three.

Dr Joe Vitale said, “The universe likes speed.” He was referring to a training program he created shortly after being featured in “The Secret”. Whilst he was out the back of his home filming his new program, a friend was on the phone leaving a message to see if he would consider creating a program to expand on “The Secret”.

The Universe Likes Speed. That’s message number 1.

Message number 2 – When you want something, you have to go for it.

Message number 3 – When presented with an opportunity you need to recognise it.

Now put those messages together and here’s your opportunity.

To celebrate completing 8 years of thoughts, I am gifting 8 x 1 hour coaching sessions with me (at no cost) to the first 8 people who reply with a resounding “Yes Please”.

If you’d like to invest an hour of your time with me, I promise to provide world class coaching for you on any topic you nominate (as long as it’s legal and moral). It doesn’t matter where you are in the world. This gift is open to you, my treasured Weekly Thoughts subscriber.

If you want it, go for it.

Recognise the opportunity and act with speed.

And just to encourage you, I consistently take my own advice. That’s how I ended up in the Bahamas a few weeks ago, receiving world class consulting for myself. That’s how come I’ve worked with and learned personally from such personal and business development gurus like John Assaraf, Jack Canfield and David Bayer and Sales and Marketing gurus like Wendy Stevens (Guerrilla Marketing), Charlie Fusco, Lisa Sasevich, Mike Koenigs and Personal Growth and Transformation greats like Sandra Bravo, Michael Domeyko Rowland and Alpha Dynamics, to name but a few. 

I can’t think of a better way to celebrate than to give the gift of what I do best.

Please don’t be shy. Please don’t consider yourself not worthy or not deserving. There are no hidden agendas. This is my way of saying “Thank You to you, my lovely Weekly Thoughts subscriber for your continued support over the past 8 years”.

I look forward to seeing you take action towards manifesting the life you want to live. And if you’re reading this after the event or you didn’t quite get there; don’t worry, the 3 messages for this week are important life lessons and I plan on continuing for at least another 2 years; so plenty more thoughts to come.

Perfectionism or Procrastination (WT415)

Perfectionism or Procrastination (WT415)

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by Shirley Dalton | 8 Jun, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 415 Perfectionism or Procrastination

I’ve mentioned many times before that there seems to be a theme emerge for the Weekly Thought. 

This week’s theme is perfectionism or procrastination. 

On three separate occasions the past few weeks, I was reminded of the difference and how perfectionism can stop us in our tracks. 

Scene 1: A coaching client gave me all sorts of excuses as to why he needed to get his website organised and his advertising schedule done before he could promote a workshop.  

“How many people do you need to run the workshop?” I asked.  

“About 10”, he answered.   

“Do you really need a website and advertising to invite 10 people to a workshop?”  

Point taken. All he needed to do was set the date and book a venue. Once that was done, it was a simple matter of inviting people from his network.  

Scene 2: A colleague had an idea for writing a series of books. He explained in great detail how he was going to spend the weekend planning and strategizing for the books and develop the formula and then he could start to write.  

“Do you know what the books are about?” I asked.  

“Of course”, he replied and then proceeded to tell me all these wonderful adventures the main character would experience. He came alive talking about it.  

I challenged him, “If you’re up for it, forget the planning this weekend and simply write the first book.” He looked at me like I had just punched him.  

“No, I can’t do that. I have to plan it all out.”  

I challenged again. Finally he agreed.  

“Oh alright, I’ll write the first one on Sunday.”  

A few weeks later I saw him again and he had in fact written the first book, well with one paragraph to go.  

“Did you enjoy it?”  

“Yes”, he said and his face lit up. He had started. He had fun and totally enjoyed the writing process. 

Scene 3: My turn to take my own advice. I was sharing with the same colleague a few weeks later about revamping my website and my brand. I went into great detail explaining the strategy I needed to implement to generate more sales. He looked at me and grinned.  

“A wise person once told me”, he began.  

“Uh Oh”, I knew what was coming. I had recently engaged some services and he knew it.  

He asked me, “Did you go to a website for that?”  

“No.” 

“Did you find it through advertising?” 

“No.” 

“Oh, how did you hear about it then?” he asked. 

“I knew the people and they knew what I needed and they made an offer and it made sense so I engaged them.” 

Now he was grinning like a Cheshire cat. He had just caught the mouse. 

“So you don’t need to have a fancy website, or even do advertising”, he continued. “You just need to talk to people and let them know how you can help.” 

“Ouch.” You know those times when you just want to reach across the table and smack them. 

He was right. I had to take my own medicine. 

And as always, I share with you because I now know from almost 8 years of Weekly Thoughts (that’s next week), that someone reading this needs to hear this message today. 

“It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done.” This comes from a great mentor of mine, Kip McGrath.  He realised very early that I was prone to perfectionism; that my perfectionism was a great excuse for procrastination. 

He managed me very well. He would give me a time limit to do a job and whether it was complete or not (of course I generally got it done), I was to return to his office at the appointed time with the job, regardless of progress. 

Your action this week is to notice how often you or people close to you use perfectionism as a means of avoiding tasks or procrastinating in general.

The first step to change is to become aware of it.

Your second task is to gently share the feedback. “C’mon. You can do it. No need to procrastinate on that too.”

Would You Walk Past It? (WT414)

Would You Walk Past It? (WT414)

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by Shirley Dalton | 1 Jun, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 414 Would you walk past it

Today’s thought might seem a bit bland at first read. Hang in there, there’s an important message from this story. 

Following the garbage collection this week, our neighbour’s bin was left in front of his yard. The lid was open. 

Generally, he takes it inside as soon as it’s emptied. 

I was curious and as we are prone to make up answers to our questions, I decided he had washed the bin and was leaving it to dry in the sun. 

The next day the bin was still outside with the lid open. 

The third day the bin had been put away, however there was a pile of rubbish left on the grass outside his home. 

“This is odd,” I thought to myself. 

The next day the rubbish was still lying on the grass. 

We’re now at day 5 and as Ross and I drive up to our place past the rubbish, Ross says to me, “Well I’m not picking it up.”  

I looked at him in astonishment. 

“Well, I will,” I said. 

“I’ll get some gloves and a bag and go and pick it up. If I’m going to complain about the rubbish I see on the side of the road and I want to do something about that, I can’t walk past rubbish at the front of my place either. (We live at the back of a group of townhouses.) 

With that, he shrugged and went inside. 

I followed, got some gloves and a bag and walked back down to the front to pick up the rubbish. It was wet and yukky. It had rained the past few days and the McDonald’s bag was wet and open. The McDonald’s drink container was split apart as was the McDonald’s salad bowl; with salad strewn across the grass. And the winner, a little blue bag tied neatly containing dog pooh. “Lovely!” 

I tied the bag and placed the rubbish in our bin for collection this week. 

I don’t know where the rubbish came from. I could guess someone placed it in the neighbour’s bin and he took it out and left it on the yard, but that wouldn’t make sense to leave rubbish in front of your own place. 

Regardless of what happened, here’s the point. In business and in life, our actions are determined by our values. You can’t say you value one thing and then not act in accordance with it. If you’re the CEO or leader, your actions absolutely MUST be in alignment with your company values. If you don’t act accordingly, how can you expect your team to. 

For me, picking up the rubbish was a no brainer. I value cleanliness. I don’t like rubbish being strewn around the place. I have pride in where I live and work and so to leave the rubbish for who knows who to pick it up, (or not) would have been totally out of alignment with my values. I would have been totally out of integrity. 

What would you have done? Would you have walked past it? And at work, what are you willing to walk past?

Live By Your Values (WT411)

Live By Your Values (WT411)

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by Shirley Dalton | 11 May, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 411 Live by your values

You’ve most likely heard the term “Vision and Values” in reference to business. For years this term remained a mystery to me. I just didn’t get it. 

I couldn’t see what the big deal was about having a list of words on a wall that we could point to and say, “These are our values”. 

That was until I read or heard, (I can’t remember the source) of the question, “Would you rather read it on the walls or see it in the halls?” 

Seeing it in the halls means we behave in line with what we say is important to us, i.e. our values – what we value. 

This week I was having a conversation with my hair stylist who mentioned that whilst she was away recently, her team did an excellent job of looking after clients, however, they forgot to look after each other. 

This sparked a great conversation about what she values in behaviour and attitude for her business, team and customers. One of the things she values is authenticity. It’s important to her that people are genuine; that includes staff and customers. Playing around with words and phrases, draft one included “Authenticity of People and Service.” 

As we were talking, I shared with her another of my colleague’s values for his bakeries. Each and every day he and his team live by these values. They determine the behaviour and the attitude of the baking teams in his business. 

Thanks to Tony Kaye for allowing me to share his core values with you: 

  1. Pay It Forward 
  1. Quality over Quantity 
  1. Forever and Constant Improvement 
  1. Help Everyone Learn New Skills 

“Pay it Forward” means that when you’ve finished your work, you help the next shift. This could include weighing ingredients and having them ready for the next shift to bake.  

“Quality over Quantity” means we bake well. We don’t strive for a huge production run, rather we bake products of good quality. 

Tony finds that having these values and referring to them on a daily basis helps him to ensure his team know what is expected and as a result they can come to work and succeed in their roles.  

Your values guide your behaviour. 

Having your values also makes it easy for you to hold people accountable and have “those conversations” because you have a reference point. 

Your task this week is to think about your values. What’s important to you? Do you have these written down? Are your team aware of them? If not, I encourage you to work with your team to determine the values that will guide the behaviours and attitudes of your workplace. 

And let’s not stop there. How do you want to live at home?

If You Don’t Tell Them, They Won’t Know (WT406)

If You Don’t Tell Them, They Won’t Know (WT406)

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by Shirley Dalton | 6 Apr, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 406 If You Don't Tell Them They Won't Know

This week we’re not talking about giving feedback; we’re talking about marketing your services and letting people know the value you are providing.

I was sitting at the traffic lights and in front of me was an SUV style of vehicle. Underneath the back window on the body panels I read “Sizes 10-26”, a phone number and address. I presumed it was for a clothing retailer. I also presumed it was for women and yet nowhere could I find the name of the shop or what the sizes were for. I was intrigued, so I found a way to pass the vehicle and to my amazement the sides of the vehicle did not show the name either.

If you don’t tell them; they won’t know.

The same theme emerged as I was working with one of my coaching clients this week. We were working on his messaging to showcase his credibility for the work he does.

Initially reluctant, he was concerned about the “Tall Poppy” syndrome. He didn’t want to appear arrogant or egotistical.

I shared a story that one of my employees told me years ago. She was purchasing taps for a renovation and the salesperson seemed to get annoyed with her because she didn’t appear to appreciate what he had done. Eventually he blurted out, “You don’t seem to realise what I great deal I have just given you” and proceeded to tell her about all the discounts he had factored into the price. She explained to me that until he told her, she had no idea; she just thought that was the price.

If you don’t tell them; they won’t know.

And just yesterday I was working on marketing messages with participants in the next Powerful Marketing Video Event and a similar thing occurred. They weren’t aware of the special attention they were receiving so I mentioned it. 

Marketing is all about getting your name known and attracting customers. It’s your responsibility to let them know the value you bring.

Don’t be shy about this. It doesn’t mean you have to be arrogant. It doesn’t mean you have to be resentful, it simply means, “If you don’t tell them; they won’t know”.

Your job this week is to look at the value you bring and ask yourself whether your clients or prospective clients know this. In fact, you could even extend this to your inner circle at home. Are you sharing the value you bring or are you feeling resentful because they aren’t showing appreciation, when in fact, they may not know.

Here’s a simple example – in a few weeks we’ll be celebrating eight (8) years of Weekly Thoughts. That’s amazing to me that I haven’t missed a week in all these years. Starting at number 1, we’re now up to 406. When we get to 416 we ring the gong and perhaps will celebrate with a few surprises.

If I didn’t tell you, you might not have known.

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