Blog
Polite Doesn’t Mean Pushover (WT574)
I was conducting a recruitment interview for a client today. I asked the candidate to explain his definition of “Assertive”. “It’s someone who is quite forceful in getting their way”, he replied. “Wow”, I thought to myself. “That’s not my definition.” To be assertive means to be honest and congruent. It means that you get your needs met AND not at the expense of others. In order to get your needs met you need to: Be aware of your needsTake responsibility for getting your needs met, andUse your communication skills (I Messages, Active Listening and Conflict Resolution Skills as examples)....
If It Was Easy Everyone Would Do It (WT573)
We’re talking about leadership and management of course. It’s not for everyone. It’s not an easy role to have. I remember when Ross was promoted to the Site Supervisor’s role. He had no idea how to lead and manage his team. He did what most new leaders and managers do. He treated his team the way he had been treated in the past. Working in male dominated heavy industry, he yelled a lot. He swore a lot and he was passive aggressive. He hadn’t had any training and he would come home to me and tell me about his day. I would cringe listening to him as he recounted the events of the day and how...
It’s 11 Years (WT572)
Have you ever started something without any expectation? Maybe you started going to the gym and then found that a few years later you’re still going to the gym. Well, to my surprise and delight, that’s what has happened for me with the Weekly Thought. I started writing a Weekly Thought to my database 11 years ago. When I started I didn’t know how long I would keep going; that would depend on the readers and whether my thoughts were of interest. And here we are 11 years later and I haven’t missed one single week in all that time. I have to say, I’m impressed. I can count on one hand the...
See Ya Tomorrow (WT571)
“See ya tomorrow.” “No You Won’t” replied Ross. “I don’t think so”, was my reply to the bar attendant as she closed the door on us to make sure we couldn’t enter. It was the local bowling club at a very tiny town on the northern New South Wales coast. It wasn’t even 6:30pm. We had been told the Chinese Restaurant was supposed to be re-opening after a long time shut with COVID and renovations so we thought we would go along and support them. We walked down the hill to see 3 cars in the carpark and a sign to say re-opening in 2 days time. “Oh well”, we thought, “while we’re here, we’ll support...
I Can Put Air In That For You (WT570)
This was the offer Ross received the other day when he was chatting with a neighbour in the van park. Our neighbour had recently bought a motorhome and he and his wife had just begun their journey. He was asking Ross for some tips and Ross was recounting some of the mistakes and misadventures we’ve made and had along the way. As they were talking Ross noticed that our front tyre looked like it needed air. The neighbour offered to use his compressor. Initially Ross was reluctant, thinking it would be a big imposition for the neighbour to have to pull out what Ross thought would be a big piece...
No Triangles (WT569)
In our Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience and Online Membership we have a topic called The Eternal Triangle of Hate. For some participants, even the name is too much. “Hate is a very strong word Shirley”, commented Elli. “Yes, I agree. It is and when we go through this concept you may understand why we use it”, I replied. What we’re talking about here is the triangle that is formed, in the workplace and at home, when we have at least 3 people playing one of the roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer. If you draw an upside down triangle, it will make the V sign. At the bottom of...
Just Press A Button (WT568)
“If he’d gone 2 feet further he would have missed it completely”, lamented the caretaker at the caravan park. He was referring to a guest who wiped out the security gate as he attempted to turn the corner and enter the park with his caravan in tow. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to fix it over the last 6 years”, he added. I shook my head as Ross recounted the story. There are actually 2 gates side by side on the entrance side. When you arrive for the first time, the receptionists press a button to open the gate closest to the office to let you into the park. When Ross finished...
Don’t Assume Malevolence (WT567)
You know I love quotes and mantras. Well here’s another one that a colleague of mine shared with me recently. Thank you Mark! It comes from Jordan Petersen, “Don’t assume malevolence, when ignorance will suffice.” First of all we’d better define malevolence. Without consulting the dictionary, in this context for me it means, don’t assume malice. Don’t expect that someone is intentionally wanting to hurt you in some way. When you combine it with, “When ignorance will suffice”, my interpretation is that the other is not even aware of the effect they are having on you. The meaning of ignorance...
What Lesson Did I Just Teach? (WT566)
One of my weaknesses is that I let everyone else go first and I put myself last. It’s not a great quality and for the most part it only affects me (and of course, Ross from time to time). I was horrified the other day to realise that I may have taught this to my friend’s 2 year old child, unintentionally of course, but a life lesson, none the less. Here’s what happened: Magnus was climbing the slippery dip at a local café where we were having breakfast. Another kid, possibly the same age and a bit bigger in size, height and weight started climbing too. I was standing behind Magnus to make...
Can I Have a Go? (WT565)
“Excuse me.” “Excuse me.” “Is that an electric bike?” asked one of the kids in the caravan park where we’ve been staying. “Yes”, replied Ross. “Can I have a go?” the young boy asked. “No, it’s too big for you”, replied Ross. “Does it go really fast?” “Have you got to peddle all the time?” Ross chatted with them and answered their questions. They didn’t push the point for a ride and I couldn’t help admire their confidence to ask for what they wanted. Straight up! I love how kids don’t prejudge an answer. I love how they simply ask for what they want. It makes me curious. At what point do we...